On happiness, parenting, and ambition…and, of course, writing.

I’m six months into being a mother of three. My son is now four years old, and my twin baby girls are six months old. I won’t lie, it hasn’t been easy. Not only because of the amount of work (diapers, soiled clothes, spoon feeding, etc.), but because I find it difficult to put my life on hold for a year until the girls start in the nursery.

I already shared my view that it pays off to write even 15 min a day. And I still stand by what I said in that post. The trouble is that this time around, I don’t need to relearn these lessons. I still remember them. I have learned not to procrastinate, and I value my time. These days, I’m trying my best to squeeze in a bit of querying and editing (drafting is a luxury) in the little time between the kids being finally asleep and my brain switching off.

I’m writing this post in the car, for example. The babies are sleeping, and I have a little bit of time between the girls’ PEKiP course and having to pick up my son from kindergarten. I’m writing in the cracks of time. Always in between.

It reminds me of how things were when I was working. I don’t like the feeling.

But perhaps, I am in a time of my life when I need to rather learn to go with the flow. Sometimes, learning to float gets you there faster, especially if one learns to navigate the current.

This leads me to the point about happiness. In this time of my life more than any other, I’m beginning to realize that happiness is a choice. The last six months have been a very intense blessing. Our family nearly doubled in size. That alone is quite the change. But also, we have been fortunate enough to be able to build a house. Now, we are starting to make a home out of it. I think many people would be like: So yeah, what are you complaining about?


I shouldn’t. Yes, it has been stressful; yes, my body takes its time to recover from growing two babies; yes, at the moment, being happy or unhappy is balanced on the edge of a knife.

It is up to me to choose which way I go.

Happiness is, indeed, a choice. Letting go and letting the current take you is a good choice sometimes. Sometimes, one needs to choose the grass on one’s own side, green or not.

Author: Adriana Kantcheva

I'm a Bulgarian writer of (often) speculative fiction, who lives in Germany.

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